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How to lose weight

How to lose weight

How to lose weight

How to lose weight

To burn it down: an interesting list of what I did, including some tips:

  • Become disciplined.

Head out to the Discipline store and get yourself some. Seriously, this is almost the only thing you need to lose weight.

  • Become super disciplined.

Becoming disciplined is not enough. You need to head back to the Discipline store and get the uber-package. Make sure you hang on to that for the rest of your life.

  • Don’t set a starting date.

“Next tuesday I’ll start. So before that, I still have the chance enjoy a shitload of these deep-fried Mars bars.” Don’t do that. Start immediately. Setting a date will only lead to postponing, making those Mars bars even harder to lose.

  • Set a goal.

Goals are important. I originally wanted to go from 145 kg (320 pounds) to 100 kg (220 pounds). I achieved that a year later, and decided to continue until I’d reach my optimal BMI. 6 months later and 20 kg (44 pounds) lighter, I achieved a BMI of 22.2.

  • Pay for exercise.

I can’t tell you how much I hate the gym. But paying the damn subscription fee made me feel guilty if I wouldn’t go. If you can’t stand treadmills, weights and those weird guys that hang around the gym all day, then pay for another form of exercise. The money you lose is so much worth it.

  • Lose the sodas.

Coke, Fanta, Mountain Dew, but also milkshakes, smoothies, sugar laden Starbucks coffee, and any sweet drinks overall will make your butt humongous. All these liquid calories won’t satisfy you, have close to no nutritional value. Keep drinking them while you’re fat, and you might as well inject butter straight into your ass.

  • Drink water.

Water rocks. It contains no calories whatsoever. You should drink at least 2 litres of it every day, but a lot more if you start working out as well. And for me, it was an important catalyst: each time I’d get really hungry, I drank two glasses of water. That will fill up your stomach, giving you the sensation you’re satisfied.

  • Don’t reward yourself with something good.

Lots of diets tell you to reward yourself with one good meal or a really yummy snack after a week of successful dieting and exercise. Fuck that. You’re fat. Punish yourself until you lose the weight. This ain’t no picnic. Reward yourself with an extra glass of water, a few more bench presses or an ultra awesome outfit at the end of the road.

  • Light products are the worst.

Don’t eat or drink that crap. Not only do aspartame and sweeteners taste like dog poo compared to proper sugar, but there’s a chance you’ll grow Chernobyl-style mutations by eating too much. Stick to fruit and normal food. Eat little of everything. Eat a regular meal during the night but don’t have seconds.

  • Stay disciplined.

Take these 10 tips into consideration, but find your own way of losing weight. Remember that the key to getting rid of those love handles is to keep doing it. No excuses, no time-outs or breaks. Not even on vacation. If you’re a gargantuan fat bastard like I was, you won’t notice any change (in the mirror) in the beginning. This can be really demotivating. Make sure you keep going, because the first kilos/pounds you lose will fly off like the goddamn Millennium Falcon. The final bunch of kilos are the hardest, but discipline will help you for the rest of your life.

So that’s how I did it. No excuses to being fat, unless you’re seriously ill. All it takes is discipline and perseverance. It’s not important which diet you follow, or what kind of exercise you do, as long as you do it. And keep doing it until you’ve reached your goal.

Disclaimer: This is a repost of an entry I wrote many years back. Since then, I founded & designed Human.co to help people move more. Also, my shirt size went up from S to M thanks to pushups & protein.